Dangerous Desires or Guilty Pleasures?

Last night while my daughter was out I may have watched Tomcat: Dangerous Desires on Netflix.  Maybe.  Let's just say that hypothetically, if I had done that, I might have discovered that my Internet connection was running slow and I couldn't stream it on my computer.  Then, I might have checked to see whether it would play on my iPad and discovered that it would, but that I'd first have to download an app.  And I might have done that and waited for it to download, even though it was pretty late at night and I had an appointment this morning.

In fairness to me, if I had done this, I would have looked first for If Looks Could Kill.  Probably the quality isn't much better, but I assume that there's more clothing involved. 

(There would almost have to be, right?)

 

Sadly, If Looks Could Kill isn't available for streaming, so if I HAD taken advantage of being home alone to watch an old, crappy Richard Grieco movie, I guess it would have been Dangerous Desires.

Here's what I might have discovered if I'd watched that movie:

• Richard Grieco was not only the biggest name by a longshot, but also far and away the most talented actor in this film.  Make of that what you will.
• The director of this film was far more interested in naked women than in naked men, which may have been an odd choice since I'm pretty sure men were not the prime audience for this story.
• Richard Grieco doesn't look all that much different with his head shaved.
• The writer (and I'm using the term loosely) apparently believes that cats don't have souls. 
• There are a lot of very unusual-looking types of insect.

Should you watch this movie?  Well, only if you can answer yes to one or more of the following questions:

• Have you always wanted to explore the concept of what might happen if we extracted a bit of DNA from a cat and injected it into a human brain?
• Do you want to see a young Richard Grieco semi-naked?
• Do you really enjoy watching people killed in pretty gruesome ways with very little provocation?
• Do you want to see a young Richard Grieco make love to a variety of women?
• Are you working on a list of the 100 worst films of the last century and looking for contenders?
• Are you very curious about Richard Grieco's butt?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, this movie may be for you.  I wouldn't, however, recommend it based on the story line, cast, cinematography, sound track, production or...you know...any of the stuff that makes a movie good.

If you're on the fence, scroll back up to the photograph.  If that doesn't influence you, this movie has nothing to offer you.  Unless, you know, you really are working on that "worst films" list.

What Does Best Buy Have Against Richard Grieco?

Yeah, I know--I decided last week that I wasn't going to buy Booker while I was on this ever-lengthening unpaid medical leave and had no idea when my next paycheck was coming.  But then I had a brainstorm. See, I have a Best Buy gift card I've been sitting on for quite a while, and what better way to spend it than to entertain myself while I was in this very frustrating limbo?

(You want to take a moment out in the middle of this story of my endless fruitless quest for a $19 television series from the 80s to look at him, right?  Okay, okay...if you insist.)

 

I hope you're happy.  That was no fun for me.

 

Anyway, after it emerged that Best Buy for some reason doesn't carry Booker (you'd think there was little demand for single-season spin-offs from 20+ years ago or something), I decided to look around and see what other work of Grieco's they might have available.  I'd been kind of surprised by the number of movies listed on IMDB and his official website, and I'd never seen any of them.

 

Of course, it seemed like there was a good reason for that.  I mean, something about Tomcat: Dangerous Desires didn't really appeal to me.  And that disinterest intensified when I saw the cover of the DVD box and realized that they weren't using "tomcat" metaphorically.  The movie has a 3.2/10 rating on IMDB and involves a scientific experiment that turns a guy into a cat.  Or a half-cat. Or some kind of cat-like creature.

 

Yeah, I'm not even into good sci fi.

 

But...

 

Well, I saw a few still from the movie, and they looked pretty hot. I figured it couldn't be too expensive.  And, you know, I have this gift card.

 

But no.  Unbelievably, Best Buy doesn't carry that one, either.  In fact, a search for Grieco's name on the Best Buy website came up empty.

 

Could somebody please send me a gift card for Grieco's official website?